These past few weeks i’ve been feeling like I’ve completely lost track. One of my goals lately has been to delegate jobs around the house to my Husband and Children to help me out. I did it, I asked for help. It went well for a week or so, then slowly life goes back to how it was before. Me being the control freak that I am, loses my mind, then just decides it’s better if I do it myself. At least I get it done, and it gets done right.
Am I the only Mom that feels this way?
It definitely turns around and bites me in the behind though. I have a family of SIX. It may have been easy to do when Jesse and Little Leo were young, but its not just my 2 little boys anymore. And just as I said above, it will go good for a week or so then I find myself utterly exhausted, hating everyone and scream begging for help.
Baseball Season is in full swing, which is amazing!! This is my most FAVORITE time of the year. I love watching my boys play ball. MLB Season Opener starts in just a few days. But at the same time, it is a very stressful time of the year for this Momma of 4. Getting boys to practices, Games, and getting the girls ready and dressed, snacks and toys prepared… It may not seem like it, but it is a lot of work. The yard gets neglected, our house is a disaster. Thank Goodness my Spring Cleaning Bundle has arrived, did I tell you I’m switching to Non Toxic EVERYTHING?
Leading by Example
I struggle with this. I feel like I am the only Mom in the world that is exhausted time and time again. I feel like I spend the majority of the time screaming my head off, and little time hugging and loving on my beautiful babies.
I sometimes wonder if a lot of this guilt comes from not having a Mother as a role model. I don’t have that person to call and cry to and ask advice from. I’m not even sure what is, and what is not normal. I’m learning on my own and I pray everyday I’m doing a good job. My goal as an Adult and Parent has been to give everything to my children that my sister and I never had. Am I doing this right? How do I know that my children won’t get older and have the same goal. This crushes me!
Am I giving them too much?
Over the weekend the boys had an overnight guest. This boy is so sweet, so respectful and seemed so grateful for everything we did on what was a pretty normal weekend for us.
There was a difference. While this Young Man was being very polite and respectful all my boys had on their mind was playing FortNite. This drives me crazy!! We’ve been cutting back their Fortnite more and more each week. It’s caused them to say mean things, act CRAZY and just disassociate with life.
For example, this friend wanted to play outside. We have a huge backyard, a huge front yard, trampoline, basketball hoop, bikes you name it. Did my boys want to go outside and play? Nope, sure didn’t. Multiple times I caught our young guest outside playing basketball on his own.
After my husband had over a dozen talks of “This is your Guest!” we had it! Ripped the PS4 out of the wall and in my bedroom it sits. Are we setting our kids up to be stuck up snobs? My husband and I grew up outside on our bicycles, scooters, roller blades. We lived to be outside. Do I force these kids to go outside? What if that’s just not their personality and they like being inside. I like being inside, you don’t see me outside all day long. This is the crap that circles in my brain ALL. DAY. LONG.
Again, is this just me that is going through this?
Pull it Together
There are days of course where everything runs very smooth, these are my happiest days. Maybe I need to stop expecting so much from everyone so I won’t get stressed out so much. I am SO HAPPY. Do not get me wrong. This blog post is more of a Rant if anything.
Rant Over – What’s Meggan been up to?
Have you guys checked out my recipes i’ve posted over the last couple weeks? It’s been easier for me to post the recipes than actually get on here and write. I have a long list, that keeps getting longer of topics that I can’t wait to write about. I’ll get there.
I’ve also been studying how to be an entrepreneur. I’ve received great training and I am not even half way through it. I’m excited to share with you all what I’ve learned and what i’ve been up to. I’m having a great time with it.
I connected with Jesus last week, and realized he had been trying to send me this message for a LONG time. I’m a Lover, Giver, Carer(if that’s even a word lol) I just love people and helping. Most times my giving is graciously accepted, but not all the time! And this is okay! I realize my energy is A LOT and often times I can be TOO MUCH for people. And this is also okay!! That Sunday our Pastor had invited us to a Volunteers Meeting for those interested in helping at the church in all different ways. THIS WAS IT! Jesus was leading me to a place where my help would never go unappreciated. Leo and I attended the meeting and can’t wait to get to work. We are so excited!
Also, I’m Team Mom to our Wildcats Baseball Team. Both Jesse and Leo are on the same team this year! Which is just so wonderful for all of us. I love being Team Mom, I love being involved, I love being the cheerleader for everyone and getting to know all of the parents. I also love sporting all of my “Baseball Mom” Gear, the boys LOVE it too, not!
I applied for Preschool for Macy-Jane. Yes you all.. Pre-school! I am so happy for her, but so sad. See, when I had the boys I worked so it was normal for them to be gone at Pre-School and Daycare. I quit working at the Bank once the girls were born and have been with them every second of their days. But, It is time. Not only will it be great for our BooBoo girl to get out and interact with other kiddos her age, she’ll also be getting educated. Plus, Molly and I will have a little one on one time which has never been a thing.
I hope you all have enjoyed this mixed bag of a Blog Post LOL!
After I have finished this awesome entrepreneurial training I plan to get back in more of a routine in my posts.
Have a wonderful week everyone!! We leave for Tokyo in a month.